Posts Tagged ‘music’

Bob Geldof

September 19, 2010 3 comments

Image courtesy of Wikipedia

The Bob Geldof parasite, not unlike the Black Plague disease, is carried and spread by a host animal, the vile rodent Rattius Boomtownia. It infects hosts through mildly effective earworms such as I Don’t Like Mondays and Banana Republic.

But it is the most pernicious of these earworms, Do They Know It’s Christmas?, for which the Bob Geldof parasite is most well known. This particular earworm can cause some victims to turn off their radios in irritation when it becomes frequent and persistent, usually during late November through December 25th.

This earworm is also of interest because of the events surrounding its genesis. In 1984, an alarming number of British pop musicians were infected by it, and became motivated to record a benefit song for starving Ethiopians. This in turn sparked a Geldof-inspired concert, Live Aid, that would raise £150 million to help African citizens. In response, the British government upgraded the Bob Geldof threat to Sir Bob Geldof, in order to make more citizens aware of just how dangerous it really is.

AVOIDING THE BOB GELDOF PARASITE: To prevent infection of the Bob Geldof parasite, it is crucial to avoid listening to radio stations that play popular music during the months of November and December. One should also avoid movies, television shows, and documentaries about starving and sick people anywhere in the world, donating to charitable organizations that work to aid them, or organizing new charities that help anyone, anywhere.

You can learn more about this filthy parasite at its Wikipedia page.

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Marlene Dietrich

September 18, 2010 5 comments

Image courtesy of Wikipedia

The Marlene Dietrich parasite first came to the United States from Germany in 1939, and began to spread instantly, first through film, and then though popular music, all the way into the 1960s.

During World War II, this parasite was especially prolific, visiting American troops in Algeria, Italy, England, France, and Germany.

Infection with the Marlene Dietrich parasite appears to affect the cardiovascular system. As Ernest Hemingway (another atheist parasite) said, “if she had nothing more than her voice, she could break your heart with it.”

For some unknown reason, the Marlene Dietrich parasite will not infect anyone who belongs to the Nazi party.

AVOIDING THE MARLENE DIETRICH PARASITE: To prevent infection from the Marlene Dietrich parasite, one should avoid any of the music or films that carry this nasty bugger.

One sure-fire way to remain immune would be to join the Nazis, who seem to be highly resistant to atheist parasites of many kinds.

You can learn more about this foul parasite at its Wikipedia page.