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Lance Armstrong

September 21, 2010 Leave a comment

Image courtesy of Wikipedia

The Lance Armstrong parasite has a high rate of propagation among cyclists, cancer patients, cyclist cancer patients, or anyone with a possibly fatal disease and a penchant for riding lightweight, self-powered vehicles.

This parasite gained notoriety at the Tour de France, where it made a victorious appearance for seven consecutive years. In 1996, a case of testicular cancer was expected to wipe out this disgusting creature, but it prevailed in the end, and continues to flourish to this day.

Since then, the Lance Armstrong has inspired the creation of the Lance Armstrong Foundation, which aids cancer patients (and not victims of the Lance Armstrong, for some bizarre reason), and had a part in the founding of Athletes for Hope, a group that encourages athletes to get involved in charities.

This nasty parasite has become so widespread that in 2004, people began to wear yellow bracelets to raise public awareness of the danger of infection.

AVOIDING THE LANCE ARMSTRONG PARASITE: This parasite has been known to infect cancer patients and give them feelings of hope for surviving that disease. To avoid infection of the Lance Armstrong, cancer patients (and everyone else) should avoid being inspired by this parasite’s story of survival, and probably should not read or watch any accounts of how it managed to beat seemingly insurmountable odds.

Come to think of it, you probably shouldn’t have read this entry at all. Sorry about that.

To find out more about this pernicious parasite, read its Wikipedia page.

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