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Posts Tagged ‘education’

Paul Zachary Myers

September 22, 2010 2 comments

Image courtesy of Wikipedia

The Paul Zachary (PZ) Myers is another example of an atheist parasite that propagates in an educational institution. This particular parasite is endemic to the biology department of the University of Minnesota Morris.

Victims of this parasite can often find their beliefs in superstitions and pseudoscience, such as intelligent design, anti-vaccination, and homeopathy, beginning to erode. If these symptoms persist, the affected should consult their local priest, pastor, or holistic medicine establishment immediately.

When not infecting innocent college students with an accurate, nonbiblical understanding of biology, the PZ Myers likes to get its slimy tentacles into all sorts of trouble – desecrating consecrated crackers, riding dinosaurs without a license, and attempting to sneak into creationist movie previews without the express written consent of the director.

This is truly an atheist parasite that you don’t want to get mixed up with.

AVOIDING THE PZ MYERS PARASITE: Biology classrooms are always a hotbed for atheist parasite activity, and should be avoided at all costs. During a severe PZ Myers outbreak, take refuge in the nearest creation museum (the parasite cannot bear exposure there for very long) . Under no circumstances should you click on any links to Pharyngula, no matter how tempting they may be.

To learn more about this nefarious parasite, visit its Wikipedia page.

(Thanks to PZ for sharing a link on his blog – and to all of the PZ cultists who have stopped by to leave comments and suggestions. Iä! Iä!)

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Hemant Mehta

September 20, 2010 9 comments

Image courtesy friiendlyatheist.com

The Hemant Mehta parasite is one of the most insidious types of atheist parasites of all. This revolting organism invades both schools and churches, acting as a mild-mannered, productive  member of society, while secretly leeching off of the benefits that are meant for believers.

An outbreak of this parasite is presently occurring in a Chicago high school, where students are being subjected to heretical, deity-free mathematics lessons.

In 2006, the Hemant Mehta spread to a series of Christian churches after a Seattle minister named Jim Henderson made a careless impulse bid on eBay. This toxic event caused many infected Christians and atheist parasites to gain a better understanding of each other. A chronicle of this terrible plague is found in the book I Sold My Soul on eBay.

AVOIDING THE HEMANT MEHTA PARASITE: Avoiding infection from this foul bug requires some careful vigilance. It should go without saying that you should avoid taking any math classes in Chicago, but there is a much bigger threat of infection.

While it would be unreasonable to recommend avoiding church for any reason, that is precisely where most people will find themselves exposed to the Hemant Mehta. To protect yourself, always be cautious when encountering new people at your church, and if any of them approach you to discuss ways that atheists and believers can coexist peacefully, RUN!

To learn more about this nauseating parasite, visit friendlyatheist.com.

(Special thanks to Hemant for linking to the Field Guide, and for all of the positive and encouraging comments that have been coming in from his readers and others.)